The Birds

Remember right after we arrived here when I posted a picture of this bird?

And I talked about how it was the Australian magpie - the national bird of Australia. And they can make 35 different noises including the imitation of a horse or a dog. And how their natural call sounds like beautiful wind chimes out our window. And how Josh calls them the penguin birds and oh how cute.

Well forget everything I ever wrote about them. The only thing that you need to know is that the bird above is the Australian version of Satan reincarnated.

We had read online that the magpies become extremely territorial while they are nesting and the chicks are growing (usually during the early spring months of August - October). Over the past 4 weeks or so, Josh has been getting swooped at and buzzed on the golf course. It has angered him so much that he's thrown golf clubs up in the trees to try to warn them off. We have discovered that they won't bother you if you keep your eyes on them so normally if we are on a hole that we know has a swooping magpie (there are about 3 out of the 18), I try to keep my eyes on them while Josh takes his swing. It has definitely proven to be a stressful way to play golf and I believe that Josh is almost ready to give up until they stop attacking him.

I haven't really been attacked yet since I believe that they go after Josh more since he's male and taller. It has been frustrating to Josh since I didn't really know how scary it was.

So yesterday, I decide that instead of riding my trainer inside, I was going to go for a nice leisurely hour ride out in the sun to enjoy the beautiful day. Nowhere in my mind was the fact that wikipedia had mentioned that bicyclists were particularly at risk from attacking birds (something about the constant movement forward makes them crazy). At least it wasn't until about a mile from home when I heard a 'SWOOSH' behind me and saw the shadow of a crazy bird following me and diving. It scared me so bad. I was yelling and spinning fast and waving my arms trying to get it to stop following me. And it wouldn't. I finally cycled out of its territory.

Only to be attacked by another bird. After the first I figured that I could keep going and just make it back home by a different route. But after the second one started swooping at me, I just decided to give up and make my way slowly back home.

This entailed not going back the way that I came, putting my sunglasses on the back of my helmet (to try to trick them) and getting off my bike every single time that I saw a magpie (regardless of how small it was). It was a slow journey with me walking and then riding when I felt somewhat safe.

Unfortunately I got a little too comfortable as I was making my way on the grass next to the main highway that runs into Dalby (the Warrego Highway) and the next thing I knew I had been bumped in the back of my helmet by yet another bird. You can not believe how scary it is to have a bird get that close to you in an agressive manner. He was by far the worst. I got off my bike and slowly started walking backwards (you know - because they supposedly won't attack if they see eyes). Well, this male had some serious testosterone imbalances because he would come straight at me while I'm staring at him.

So picture this - I'm in my bike clothes and bike shoes on the side of a major highway with cars passing constantly yelling and waving my bike at this bird flying down at me. If only someone had had a video camera on me, I would have become a youtube sensation over night.

It's easy to see the hilarity in it now. Josh pretty much laughed as soon as he heard the story (though he was happy that I was okay). I am actually still a little spooked by it and probably won't be doing much exercising outside until after I'm 100% sure that all the bird craziness has gone away.